It's my priority to help you sort this out, @wolffixer.  

I've conducted research here and found out that there's an open investigation about the UAC settings which will block the schedule report issue. We don't have a specific time-frame to when it will be resolved. Rest assured, our software engineers are working hard to resolve this issue permanently.   

To ensure you'll get an update about the resolution status, I recommend reaching out to our Technical Support Team. They have to collect personal data to add your company and product to the list of affected users and provide this number for easy tracking: INV-12177. We'll be sending you updates via email once we get this sorted out and I'll also keep this thread on track.

You can follow the steps below to connect with us:

1. Open QuickBooks Company File.
2. Click the Help menu and choose QuickBooks Desktop Help (F1).
3. Select Contact us.
4. Type your concern, and click Search. 
5. Choose an option on how you want to connect with our support

Please check out our support hours below and contact us at a time convenient to you:

• 6:00 AM-6:00 PM Monday-Friday
• 6:00 AM-3:00 PM Saturday

In the meantime, we can manually run memorized reports and email it to your client. We can start logging in to your account and create it, Let me show you how. 

1. From the Reports, choose Memorized and click Memorized Report List.
2. Type the Report name you want to assign the report.  
3. Click the Display. 
4. On the upper corner tap E-mail, choose either send report as Excel or send report as PDF.

After successfully sending the E-mail, lets go run memorized report to double check it. 

You can also refer to this article about creating, accessing, and modifying memorized reports for your reference: Create, access and modify memorized reports. 

If there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know. I want to make sure everything is taken care of for you. Have a great day!