For all that are affected by this incredibly frustrating issue, at my organisation we have found some light relief.

If you download the attached file, you can play "QuickBooks Support Bingo" whilst monitoring this thread.

Cut out each excuse (all of which are actual excuses given since March) on the excuses grid and distribute them amongst your Accounts department.

Whoever holds the excuse given in each reply from Support (both online chat and this forum count) wins the game and doesn't have to raise any invoices for an hour.