Here's a solution that worked for me:

Upon opening the downloaded file in Excel, I discovered that the formula calculation option was set to manual.  Once I changed that to Automatic, the report values appeared in the cells where they are supposed to.

(I agree that Intuit has been terribly neglectful in helping the community on this issue—as I have found with many other issues.  If there was a suitable alternative out there I would switch in a heartbeat!)