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Buy nowWelcome to the QuickBooks Community, @FairbanksMike.
I noticed that you mention whenever you call in to speak with customer support, they push for the online version. I want to believe that you may have reached out to the QuickBooks Online Support Team instead of QuickBooks Desktop Support Team. Just for reference, these are the steps to contact QuickBooks Desktop:
For your reference, you can also check out these articles for further guidance:
That's it! Give this a try and please let me know how it goes in the comment section below. I'm always here should you have any follow-up questions and concerns. Take care and have a wonderful rest of the day.