Hello, @Barleyfreak.

This is not the impression we want you to have when using the product. I can share with you some troubleshooting steps to get your QuickBooks Desktop working and resolve the errors you're having. Usually, these errors happen due to the damage in the encryption of sensitive fields such as credit card numbers, social security, and bank accounts. To start with, let's update QuickBooks Desktop to the latest release and make a backup or portable company file.

Once done, check the QuickBooks Admin user for damage.

1. Sign in to your company file as the Admin.
2. Change the Admin password.
3. QuickBooks will re-encrypt the data in your file. This may take several minutes. If QuickBooks crashes while encrypting, contact us. A representative needs to send your file to Data Services to remove all sensitive information from the file.
4. Sign out from your company file. Go to File, then select Close Company or Logoff, then close QuickBooks.
5. Reopen QuickBooks and sign in as the admin to complete the re-encryption process.

To check if the encryption is successful:

1. Run the Verify Data utility.
2. Check the most recent entry in the log file.
3. If you see any of the following errors, contact us to send your file to the Data Services for repair. 
   • LVL_SEVERE_ERROR--GetMasterKey Failed: The decryption has failed.
   • LVL_SEVERE_ERROR--GetDataAccessKey Failed: The decryption has failed.

If not, proceed to Solution 2 from this article: Error: QBwin.log: LVL_SEVERE_ERROR--GetDecryptedCreditCardNumber The decryption has failed.

Our doors are always open here on the Community page. Feel free to add a comment below if you have any other questions. I'm a post away to help. Have a good day!