RE: Apparently, Intuit doesn't want to sell it. Every time I've tried to buy it, they give me so much crap that I end up having to just close the Window.

Did you try this page?

https://quickbooks.intuit.com/email/final-desktop-plus-sale/?cid=ipd_stopsell

I started the process, right up to the point of entering my CC number and checking out, and it seems a straightforward online purchase...