Hi @thewoollyrabbit,

I can understand how it feels when an application you use isn't working as you'd expect it to be. Let me take care of your queries. 

For QuickBooks Self-Employed (QBSE), the 3rd party app you can connect for online payments is PayPal. Stripe isn't available, which would explain why you're unable to connect to it.

As for the payment on 3rd party apps, it's because it's an additional service being offered by a 3rd party company, which is why there's a different fee for it. 

If you wish to proceed with using Stripe, it's available to connect with QuickBooks Online (QBO). You can continue to cancel your QBSE subscription and subscribe to a QBO company instead. 

Do you have other questions in mind? Post them below, and I'll be sure to get back to you.