This is not the kind of experience that we want you to have, @Mark Armistead.

Please take note of the different types of support we offer and their availability. Our phone support is available from 9:00 AM - 6:00 PM, Monday to Friday. Our chat support is from 8:00 AM - 8:00 PM, Monday to Friday.

You can also contact them outside your QuickBooks account by clicking the Contact Us button on the following article: Contact QuickBooks Desktop support.

Here's everything that you need to know about submitting a VAT return to HMRC (MTD for QuickBooks Desktop). 

Let me know in the reply section below if you have follow-up questions in reaching out to our Customer Support and or anything else. Take care and have a great rest of the day!